Raising Purity

• New version of Raising Purity for Single Adults

  August 2, 2010 | 0 Comments

  I’m frequently asked if I have written, or would be willing to write, a single/young adult version of Raising Purity. I’ve always agreed it would be a good idea, but it’s just seemed like I’ve had too many other projects on the burner. But earlier this year I contacted my buddy Jay Thomas–college pastor at College Church in Wheaton, Illinois–and asked him what he thought about partnering with me on the project. Happily he agreed, and even more happily, Crossway Publishers has agreed to publish the book.  The working title at present is Pure Relationships: The Bible’s Perspective on Sex, Dating, and Relationships.  (I’m sure the team at Crossway will come up with a better title.)  The manuscript is due to Crossway November 1, and how long the process takes after that, I don’t know. I’ll update this site with release dates as information becomes available.

  Those who can’t wait till next year–or perhaps can’t read (huh?)–can hear our thought on this topic by downloading the audio from a workshop I gave to single adults at my home church, Harvest Bible Chapel.

  Categories: Uncategorized

• Raising Purity Workshops in May!

  April 15, 2010 | 0 Comments

  I’ll be conducting two “Raising Purity” workshops in the Chicago land area in May. The workshops are a three hour distillation of the major themes of my book. If you live in the area, and are interested, below is the relevant information and the blurb from the registration website.

  Do they know? Do you? Many young people today are confused about the Bible’s perspective on sex, dating and relationships. Should they give dating a chance or kiss it goodbye? What exactly is sexual purity, and how far is too far, anyway? Perhaps our children don’t know the answers to these questions because we as parents are uncertain ourselves. In this ground-breaking workshop, Gerald Hiestand provides objective, biblical answers to these vital questions, and unfolds a paradigm-shifting view of relationships and purity that challenges the basic assumptions of our Christian sub-culture. Touching on a wide range of subjects, this workshop is sure to help parents and children think clearly, biblically and practically about the God-ordained purpose of human sexuality.

  Gerald Hiestand has conducted numerous purity workshops and is the author of Raising Purity: Helping Parents Understand the Bible’s Perspective on Sex, Dating, and Relationships. Gerald is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, and serves here at Harvest as an Adult Ministries Pastor; he also oversees Harvest’s Adult Christian Education program.

  Elgin Workshop
  Date: May 8, 2010
  Place: Harvest Bible Chapel, Elgin, IL
  Time: 8:30AM-11:30AM
  Cost: $12 per person, $15 per couple (includes a copy of Raising Purity)
  Registration: Online at harvestelgin.org/raisingpurity

  Rolling Meadows Workshop
  Date: May 15, 2010
  Place: Harvest Bible Chapel, Rolling Meadows, IL
  Time: 8:30AM-11:30AM
  Cost: $12 per person, $15 per couple (includes a copy of Raising Purity)
  Registration: Online at harvestrollingmeadows.org/purity

  Childcare is available for both workshops. A recording of the workshop will be posted here for those who can’t make it but are interested. Hope to see you there – bring a friend!.

  Categories: Parenting, Raising Purity Workshops

• Pure Relationships for Single Adults

  March 4, 2010 | 0 Comments

  Hey everyone, many of you have asked if I’ve done anything for single adults. I haven’t written anything yet (yet!), but I have done a number of workshops for singles. Below is a link to the audio file.

  Pure Relationships: The Bible’s Perspective on Singleness, Dating and Marriage

  This workshop was given at my home church, Harvest Bible Chapel, to an audience of around 170 single adults, ranging in age 16-60. The workshop seeks to do three things:  1) to develop a theology of sexuality and marriage, 2) to provide a definitive, biblical answer to the question, “How far is too far?” and 3) to critique contemporary dating relationships in light of the biblical ideal.

  To stream the file, just click on it and you’re all set. To download the file, right click and choose “save target/link as.”

  Categories: Audio, Dating, Sexual Purity, Singles

• A Few More Reviews

  February 22, 2010 | 0 Comments

  Here are a few snippets from a couple of reviews on the Raising Purity Amazon page. Both reviewers gave the book 5 stars:

  “I’d recommend this book to anyone who has children regardless of their age because teaching of this subject begins early on. This would also be a recommended read for those still searching for a marriage partner.” Court

  “A superior and unparalleled approach to sexual ethics; lucid; persuasive; gospel-centered….This is the most important book I have ever read on dating, sexuality, marriage, and anything else having to do with sexual purity.” Bradley Cochran

  You can read the entirety of both review here.

  Categories: About the Book, Reviews

• Make No Provision for the Flesh

  February 12, 2010 | 0 Comments

  (This post was originally published on the Straight Up blog. )

  I’ve been thinking about sanctification lately, and the ways in which we often make provision for the flesh.

  Sanctification can be tricky sometimes. What’s our part? What’s God’s part? While it’s certainly true we don’t sanctify ourselves (we are, after all,  his workmanship — Ephesians 2:10), it’s also true we must “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).  However one parses out this relationship, it’s clear that when it comes to sanctification, there’s a certain level of cooperation that must take place between our will and God’s. And part of that cooperation includes “making no provision for the flesh” (Romans 13:14).  In other words, we need to make a conscious effort to get rid of the things in our lives that regularly provoke us to sin.

  Like the young mom who keeps praying for patience, but what she really needs is not more patience but to learn how to train her kids so they’re not constantly doing the sort of things that would exasperate any sane woman. Or the guy who keeps praying for purity but has every movie channel, no filter on his computer, and stays up long after his wife has gone to be. Or the husband who is praying for less conflict in his marriage but who isn’t willing to give up his crazy work schedule. Or the… you get the idea. “God, don’t let me get burned,” we pray. And then off we go with our matches and our can of gasoline.

  Relying upon Christ for our sanctification doesn’t mean we get to live sloven lives and then ask Christ to pick up the pieces. It means “making no provision for the flesh.” It means getting rid of the things in our lives that constantly tempt us to respond in fleshly ways.  So if you’re not willing to find a new set of friends, then all your prayers to God about helping you stay strong in the face of peer-pressure are probably just a waste of time.

  Of course,  if your flesh is anything like mine, you’ve long ago realized that your flesh supplies all its own provision; it’s a self-contained sin unit. Just removing the stumbling blocks in your life won’t make you inwardly holy. An interior, transforming work of grace is needed for that. But things get worse — much worse — when we help our flesh along by constantly putting things in front of it that entice us toward ungodliness.

  Let’s take a long look at our lives. Are there areas where we are constantly getting tripped up? If so, perhaps we’re trying to have our cake and eat it too. Perhaps it’s time to stop making provision for the flesh.

  Categories: Christian Life

• Raising Purity Reviews

  February 6, 2010 | 0 Comments

  Awhile back I gave away a number of free copies of my book to any blogger who was willing to read it and write a review.  I’m still waiting on many of the reviews, but here are snippets from the first four that came back, as well as links to the full review. The first three are very positive; the last is mixed.

  “Insightful and gospel-centered…If only I had known about Gerald Hiestand’s book [before].” Jill Utech, Pastor’s Wife

  “A wonderful book…This little volume has completely changed the way I think about relationships outside of marriage…” Rick Wadholm, Pastor

  “One of the best resources for parents that I have ever seen for dealing with the issues of sex, dating, and relationships from a Biblical perspective.” Tony Pagliarullo, Youth Pastor

  “Although I disagree with Hiestand’s proposed methodology for living a life of purity,  I agree with the spirit of his message….Raising Purity did a fantastic job in having me examine my own values and conclusions as to what my expectations were in a presumed dating relationship.” Thomas Yang, Young Single Guy

  The offer still stands. If you’re a regular blogger and are willing to review Raising Purity within one month of receiving the book, please send your mailing address to ghiestand [at] harvestbible.org. I’m happy to mail you a complimentary copy (while supplies last!).

  Categories: About the Book, Reviews

• New Third Edition at the Printer’s!

  January 26, 2010 | 0 Comments

  One of the advantages of small print-runs is the ability to update and modify a project without having to wait a year and a day. Since the release of the revised edition last year, I’ve had a number of great conversations with singles and parents that have really helped to fine-tune the main argument of chapter two. I’ve just about sold out the initial print-run of the revised edition, so I took the opportunity to update the second chapter in light of these conversations. The Third Edition is at the printer’s.  Should be available in 6-8 weeks.

  You can check out the intro and first two chapters for free here.

  Categories: About the Book

• Thoughts on Rule Making: Part 3

  December 21, 2009 | 0 Comments

  In this final post of my “rule making” series, I want to apply the principles discussed in the previous posts (see part 1 and part 2) specifically to the topic of sexual purity.

  No other subject tends to breed legalism more than sexual purity. So often I see people try to achieve sexual purity mainly by avoiding tempting circumstances. Traveling with a companion of the same sex when on business, asking the hotel staff to block the cable to your room, and refusing to go into stores that prominently display inappropriate material are all wise measures. Why place ourselves in the way of temptation?

  But if such actions are the only way we are able to avoid sexual impurity, we have not yet embraced all that God offers us. The hope of the gospel is that God will not only forgive us our sins but actually deliver us from them as well. Our goal for our children should be for them to become the kind of people who will choose purity even when presented with the opportunity to sin. But if the only way we train them to avoid sin is by avoiding its opportunity, this goal will never become a reality. As Paul readily acknowledges, abstinence from evil can never secure holiness. Holiness is more than just the absence of evil; it is the presence of a love for God, which comes only by the Spirit.

  Like the Old Testament Law, our rules cannot “impart life.” We can develop an extensive list of prohibitions and commands, but in the end, if our children have not grown into the maturity afforded by the Spirit, our rules have availed nothing. Rules for our children are necessary, just as the Law was necessary for the children of God during the Old Testament age. But relying on an external list of rules can be only temporary. Our real goal as parents is to introduce our children to the transforming power of God’s grace. And it is through their deepening union with Christ that this grace becomes a reality in the lives of our children.

  Categories: Boundaries and Rules, From the Book, Legalism, Sexual Purity

• Thoughts on Rule Making: Part 2

  December 14, 2009 | 1 Comment

  We’ve been discussing the use of rules as a means of leading our children into lives of purity. Establishing firm guardrails without falling into legalism can be a tricky thing sometimes. It my previous post I suggested that we pattern our use of rule after God’s use of rules. So continuing from part 1…

  You as a parent may have a list of rules you expect your young children to follow: clean your room; take out the trash; gather your laundry; brush your teeth; don’t cross the street alone; save part of your allowance. You may likely include a system of rewards and punishments as they follow (or don’t follow) the rules you have clearly spelled out.

  Without carefully explaining these rules and making sure your children followed them, your children would make themselves miserable. They do not have the inward maturity or strength of character to govern themselves. But if your child at the age of twenty-one cannot decide for himself when it is safe to cross the street or needs to be told to brush his teeth, something has gone wrong!

  The rules you set are not to be permanently relied upon but rather are meant to lead your children to the place where they no longer need them. Adults do not brush their teeth because they are compelled by an external source but because of their internal desire. The same principle holds true, I believe, for how Christians relate to the Old Testament Law. As New Testament saints, we no longer rely upon an extensive list of do’s and don’ts, telling us how we should behave toward God and each other. We are under the Law of the Spirit.

  Jesus, Paul, and James all explicitly affirm the command to love as the sum total of the revealed Law (Luke 10:25–28; Romans 13:9; James 2:8). Because of the Holy Spirit, we do not need an elaborate list of commands to know how love should be carried out. Rather it is much more intuitive, flowing from who God has made us (and is making us) in regeneration and sanctification. It is the foundational aspect of the fruit of the Spirit, the ability that comes to all who are born of God (1 John 3:14; 4:7).

  We are fundamentally different people than the Old Testament believers. The lives of New Testament believers should be marked by a higher level of holiness and love than the lives Old Testament believers, for we possess the salvation they could only see from afar (1 Peter 1:10–12), the salvation the Law itself was leading us toward (Romans 3:21).

  This is not to say, however, that even we as New Testament saints have entered into the fullness of our inheritance. Paul tells us that the Holy Spirit is a “deposit,” the firstfruits of the perfection that is to come at the resurrection. Thus we exist in a sort of spiritual dawning. The sun has risen in our lives but has not yet come to its full zenith. In this regard we still need “rules” and “laws” from God, and the New Testament is not devoid of these. But it is clear from even a simple reading of Scripture that God’s call to obedience is much more clearly detailed and formalized under the Old Covenant than the New.

  Our final post will pull all of this together regarding sexual purity.

  Categories: Boundaries and Rules, From the Book, Legalism, Parenting, Sexual Purity

• Thoughts on Rule Making: Part 1

  December 7, 2009 | 2 Comments

  Many in the church today share a common thought that somehow holiness is achieved by avoiding tempting circumstances. Nowhere is this thought seen more readily than in our effort to arrive at sexual purity. Most books and sermons I have read or heard on the subject seem to mistakenly suggest that the secret to sexual purity is to avoid sexual temptation: get rid of the TV; don’t go to the pool; don’t thumb through the Sunday paper.

  This concept fosters a rules-centered Christianity whereby the main goal of our faith is to avoid anything that might provoke us toward wickedness. But this is such a shortsighted understanding of biblical righteousness and holiness. Though we should take wise and necessary measures regarding our environment, we must not rely upon such measures as the final solution to sexual purity. If the only way we can arrive at sexual purity is by manipulating our environment, then we have completely missed God’s greatest gift in overcoming sexual temptation: the power of the Holy Spirit. Righteousness is not achieved by avoiding sinful environments but by embracing Christ. It is the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit that births holiness in our hearts.

  So as we contemplate the rules we will set regarding our children’s purity, it is important that we understand their proper place in achieving sexual purity. Holiness, the apostle Paul tells us, comes not through rules, but through the justification of the Spirit.

  Justified by the Spirit, Not by Law
  The apostle Paul dealt extensively with the subject of legalism and rules in the book of Galatians, and this New Testament book is a treatise on the power Christians now have in Christ. In this letter, particularly chapters 3 and 4, Paul instructs his readers about the nature and purpose of the Old Testament Law. This Law (found in the first five books of the Old Testament) provided the moral and religious foundation upon which Jewish believers based their lives. The Law was extensive, dealing with personal and corporate holiness, governmental structure, and ceremonial cleansing, among other things.

  But the coming of Christ changed the way in which the people of God related to the Law. No longer, Paul says, are we “kept in custody under the law” (Galatians 3:23, nasb). As we look at Galatians, we discover that with the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, the Law’s usefulness in God’s overall plan had come to a end. Understanding how and why this came about is paramount to a life of Spirit-empowered obedience and will give us an important pattern for our own use of rules. To begin to understand the relationship between Law and holiness, we must understand why God gave the Law in the first place. Paul explains the purpose of the Law in 3:19, where he states that it was “added because of transgressions.” In what way did our transgressions necessitate the addition of the Law?

  I believe the Law served as a temporary, external hedge that helped to maintain the purity of God’s people until the coming of Christ and the regeneration that followed.1 Paul describes the Law as a baby-sitter or tutor (3:24), whose job was to protect God’s people from the sinful influences of the surrounding nations. In other words, God’s people required the Law because they were spiritually immature and unable to maintain holiness in the face of temptation. The message of the Old Testament Law was not, “Go into the world and convert it” but rather, “Come out from the world and be separate” (and sometimes, in essence, “Go into the world and slay it, lest it corrupt you”). The Law separated Jewish believers from the world, since as yet God had not provided the means by which they could meaningfully interact with it without becoming tainted by its poison. The Law’s very presence indicated that those in need of it were still in infancy, regardless of how perfectly it was kept.

  The Galatians, having at one time understood the sufficiency of Christ alone for salvation, were mistakenly relying upon the external influence of the Law to produce an inward experience of holiness. They thought that by avoiding certain actions and embracing various ceremonial practices, they could achieve true righteousness. “Are you so foolish?” Paul asks in Galatians 3:3. “After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?” Both they and we often need to be reminded that the way to holiness is not through adhering to a strict legal code that attempts to separate us from evil influences (“Don’t smoke, chew, or go with girls that do!”), but through the new life found in the justification of Christ.

  In Galatians Paul teaches us that the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit renders the Law unnecessary. With the spiritual rebirth of the New Covenant, we are no longer spiritual children and thus no longer in need of a baby-sitter. In the Old Testament, the people of God were controlled externally by the Law, but now in the New Testament, we are controlled internally by the Spirit. This is the source of true power and the ability to live a godly life. More than rules and laws, your children will need this power if they are to live purely and righteously in this fallen world.

  Categories: Boundaries and Rules, From the Book, Legalism, Sexual Purity

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